The Pastry Menace
Pastry is the tool of the devil.
Every day since I came to campus, I have been confronted with Satan's
flaky confections. Whether they sit on the dessert cart at the dining
hall or in the display case at Panera Bread, the pastries are always there,
Three mornings a week, I walk to the Technological Institute for my calculus
class, and invariably some group is there pushing fresh Dunkin' Donuts
or Krispy Kremes into my not quite unwilling hands. Stacks and stacks
of doughnut boxes fill the lobby there each day, supposedly for "fund
raising" or "advertising." I know they are truly intended
to lure me onto the path of sweet indulgence.
I'm on my own for the first time here at school, so I must now take
responsibility for my diet. It is up to me to prevent the evils of high
blood pressure, tooth decay and scurvy that desecrate the temple that
is my body, not to mention the always-impending attack of the dreaded
But my morale has faltered in the face of a virtual pastry assault.
Even my friends fight against me in this ceaseless battle. The dorm social
chairs, despite their generally kind and helpful manner, have an excessive
fondness for large, sugary pastry creations from Panera Bread. Apple and
cheese Danish pastries make regular appearances at weekly munchies.
Even working does not allow me to escape from the pastry menace. Every
speech tournament I judge comes complete with complimentary doughnuts.
I suppose I could simply say no to all this pastry that college life
continues to offer me. I suppose I could simply turn away from all the
boxes of doughnuts. I suppose I could simply close my mouth instead of
stuffing it with enormous bites of rich, buttery goodness.
But I am weak. When that fiendish kitchen staff dangles those delectable
temptations before my eyes, I become powerless to resist.
I can see them. So soft. So sweet. So innocent.
Something that looks so good couldn't possibly be that bad. Look, they're
full of jelly. That's a whole serving of fruit. And they're made with
flour. Grains form the base of every good diet.
Does anyone have some Twinkies?
Copyright © 2002 Colleen Fischer | Last updated October 7, 2002