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Poems

Thunderstorms
In Flight
Questions
Forced Smiles
Shackles
Recluse
Where
Burn
Winter
Happy Oblivion
Ducking Destiny
Chance of Showers
Chance Encounters
Myopia
The Thinking Dog
Misbehavior
The Race
Flight of the Ostrich
Monster Under My Bed
The Rose Garden
Haiku
Window Shopping
Dramatic Romances
Musings on Nature
A Day at School
The Holy Light
A Rainy Night

Stories

The Roller Coaster
The Purse
Sammy's Lesson
The Legend of the Hungry Dragon
Spirits in the Night

Essays

Essays
My Philosophy of Life
Five Scholarship Questions
Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. DuBois
Prophets for God
My Service Project (1999-2000)
My Service Project (1997-1998)
The Beauty of the Forest
Reaching Beyond

Satires
The Pastry Menace
A College Just for You!
The Rights of Plants

Literary Analyses
Saving Harry:  Clearing the Controversy Over Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Essays on Wuthering Heights
The Creature in Frankenstein and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Edna's Decision in The Awakening
Character Comparison in Kate Chopin's The Awakening
Why The Chosen?

Research Papers
Race, Norms, and the Sidewalk
Analytical Exercise
The Validity of Comparing Governments
The British System: Legal-Rational Or Traditional?
The Importance of Framing
Madison on Factions
Spirituality and the Brain
Sea Water and Conductivity

Speeches
Clinic Violence: A "Moral" Way to Bring About Change?
Graduation Speech
The Call to Relationship
Mark Twain Speaks Again (original version)
Mark Twain Speaks Again (shortened version)

Editorials
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
The Year 2000
Hunting for Sport?

Articles
Mercury Spill Exercise
Chocolate Feature Exercise
Character Sketch
Reaction Story
Aspiring Actress Profile
"Shark Attack" Exercise
Villa Maria Academy Hosts Diversity Panel

Nonfiction
Coastal Vacation

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The Pastry Menace

Pastry is the tool of the devil.

Every day since I came to campus, I have been confronted with Satan's flaky confections. Whether they sit on the dessert cart at the dining hall or in the display case at Panera Bread, the pastries are always there, tempting me.

Three mornings a week, I walk to the Technological Institute for my calculus class, and invariably some group is there pushing fresh Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kremes into my not quite unwilling hands. Stacks and stacks of doughnut boxes fill the lobby there each day, supposedly for "fund raising" or "advertising." I know they are truly intended to lure me onto the path of sweet indulgence.

I'm on my own for the first time here at school, so I must now take responsibility for my diet. It is up to me to prevent the evils of high blood pressure, tooth decay and scurvy that desecrate the temple that is my body, not to mention the always-impending attack of the dreaded Freshman 15.

But my morale has faltered in the face of a virtual pastry assault.

Even my friends fight against me in this ceaseless battle. The dorm social chairs, despite their generally kind and helpful manner, have an excessive fondness for large, sugary pastry creations from Panera Bread. Apple and cheese Danish pastries make regular appearances at weekly munchies.

Even working does not allow me to escape from the pastry menace. Every speech tournament I judge comes complete with complimentary doughnuts.

I suppose I could simply say no to all this pastry that college life continues to offer me. I suppose I could simply turn away from all the boxes of doughnuts. I suppose I could simply close my mouth instead of stuffing it with enormous bites of rich, buttery goodness.

But I am weak. When that fiendish kitchen staff dangles those delectable temptations before my eyes, I become powerless to resist.

I can see them. So soft. So sweet. So innocent.

Something that looks so good couldn't possibly be that bad. Look, they're full of jelly. That's a whole serving of fruit. And they're made with flour. Grains form the base of every good diet.

Pastry. Yum.

Does anyone have some Twinkies?




Copyright © 2002 Colleen Fischer | Last updated October 7, 2002